So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
