Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
