I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
