My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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