11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
