Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
why is half of my head shaved?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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