Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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