My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
