ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
