we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
