i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
