I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
