so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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