This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
