doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
vagina is talking i cant
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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