Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
