It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
