ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
