who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize