Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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