Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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