I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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