Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
