Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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