What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
