I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
