She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
