You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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