I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
