so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
