I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
