Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
