i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
