He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
