I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
