haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize