There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
And then my night got REAL pukey
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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