U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
