i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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