Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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