I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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