It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
As shirtless as possible
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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