I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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