My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
