so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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