Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
