yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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