A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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