it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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