dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
