Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
