Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
