So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
