i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can't turn off my feet"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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