isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
