You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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