I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
