I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
