my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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