Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize