he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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