I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize