Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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