Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
