I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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