Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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