let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
