Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
