oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize