I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
