Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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