i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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