he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize