What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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