You really coming over, don't trick.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
